A big day in Barca history….a.k.a. “Votar no!”
As in, vote no against the “no confidence” vote. This is, for many Barca fans, a big day in the club’s history. Bigger than any player signing, bigger than any match win or loss. Sunday, July 6 is the day that a vote that was forced by soci Oriol Giralt has, along with 5,882 other [...]

As in, vote no against the “no confidence” vote.

This is, for many Barca fans, a big day in the club’s history. Bigger than any player signing, bigger than any match win or loss. Sunday, July 6 is the day that a vote that was forced by soci Oriol Giralt
has, along with 5,882 other socis, angled for a no confidence vote against current Barcelona board president Joan Laporta and his mates. (There are now more than 9,000 signatures on the petition.)

So, what’s at stake here? Essentially, control and direction of the club for the foreseeable future. Here are the facts. My rant will follow after that.

After two silver-less seasons, Giralt began to circulate a petition that garnered the necessary number of signatures to force the vote. If 65 percent of voting socis vote for the Giralt petition, the board is dissolved and elections will be held within three months, for a new president and board.

The in-person vote will take place at the Camp Nou on Sunday, July 6.

Now for speculation.

Sandro Rosell,

who has a past with Laporta, is rumored to be the leading candidate to replace Laporta. He’s essentially running on a “I’ll bring Kun Aguero to the Nou Camp” platform. Rosell denies that he has anything to do with this petition drive, but has of late criticized everything from player sales and transfers, to what Laporta had for breakfast and the color of his socks.

Laporta is saying that a no confidence vote could paralyze the board and the team at a critical time, in effect freezing all player activity and allowing for nothing but the basic, day-to-day operations of the club. Here is the relevant passage:

“The interim committee exercises the functions of government, administration and representation that belong to the board, but limited to the acts that are necessary and inevitable for the normal functioning of the club and the protection of its interests.”

Now, that bold-faced bit is where the lawyers are going to get involved. Laporta, quite naturally, suggests that passage does NOT allow for transfers or completions of ongoing negotiations. Giralt says that Laporta is a liar and scare-monger, that transfers at this time of the season are most definitely within the scope of “acts that are necessary and inevitable for the normal functioning of the club.”

You fans of irony should note that Laporta’s history with the club essentially began in 1998, when he forced an unsuccessful confidence vote against then-president Josep Nunez. Laporta then successfully stood for election in 2003, running on a “bring Beckham to the Nou Camp” platform.

Well, he couldn’t get Beckham, so he settled for this Brazilian named Ronaldinho, and the rest is history. His tenure began with the club trying to rid itself of underperformers, so that it could become the bright, shining entity that it has now become. Barca was big, but many argue that it became world-wide under the aegis of Laporta/Rijkaard/Ronaldinho, playing the kind of football that sold shirts and grabbed attention.

Many also say that with Laporta’s campaign against the Barca ultras, the Boixos Nois, the Nou Camp became a much nicer place to watch a match. No violence, no stress, just a tourist and soci-friendly little hamlet. Debt isn’t as crushing as it once was, either.

During Laporta’s tenure, the club grabbed a Champions League crown and two league trophies, ending six trophy-less years before Laporta. Hot on the heels of the side’s European crown, no other candidate even ran against Laporta in September of 2006, so he won another four-year term.

Now, it hasn’t been six years, but does any of that above sound familiar? Players out, coach out, new system in after two trophy-less years.

(Rant time….)

Giralt claims to have the best interests of the club at heart with his destructive foray, but he doesn’t. He claims not to want anything save the success of the club, should his efforts result in the dismantling of Laporta and the current board. Horseshit.

We have been silver-less for two seasons now, and have decided to reload the cannon, so to speak. There’s a new coach, a slew of new signings, and under or non-performers are being jettisoned. To unsettle all of that now is extremely dangerous. If Laporta were any other president, it wouldn’t be as bad. But he is almost as big a symbol of the club as any of the players. This helps on the public relations side, but it also helps with the transfer negotiations. Many believe that he was the one able to prise Alves from Sevilla, thanks to a relationship with Del Nido.

Dunno. What I do know is this: You can’t screw with a program before it is complete, which is, in effect, what Giralt and his cohorts are wanting. They say that everything will run as before, that nothing will be upset, that operations will continue as before. All they want is new folks running things, because Laporta and his board suck. Oh, and we’re keeping Eto’o and Ronaldinho, while adding Aguero, never mind that he isn’t for sale, and has a 40 million Euro release clause. We will most likely be as successful getting El Kun as Laporta was getting David Beckham.

Were I able to be in Barcelona on Sunday, I would be voting not just no, but hell no to this attempt. It’s a destabilizing, misguided power grab.

Farewell, R10, it’s been a good run (well, not fully)
It is official. The end of an era of sorts for FC Barcelona. Reads the beginning of the statement by the club: AC Milan and Barcelona have reached an agreement in principle over the transfer of Ronaldinho to the Italian club. The Brazilian will take a medical examination on Wednesday in Milan. And let the record [...]

It is official. The end of an era of sorts for FC Barcelona. Reads the beginning of the statement by the club:

AC Milan and Barcelona have reached an agreement in principle over the transfer of Ronaldinho to the Italian club. The Brazilian will take a medical examination on Wednesday in Milan. And let the record show that somebody is pretty excited about it.

What made the deal actually and for-real possible was Ronaldinho’s renouncing his 15% cut of the deal, which is for 21 million Euros, plus another 4 million should Milan qualify for Champions League, something that is pretty much in the “Duh!” category, even if he does a repeat of this season past, which I don’t expect.

As Txiki said, “The player will always decide where he wants to play. We can have 40 different offers but in the end, what counts is the player’s own desire.”

We were grownups about this one, as befits our gratitude to Ronaldinho. We could have dug our heels in and forced Milan to match or come closer to the 32 million offered by Citeh. We’ve all seen it recently with Hernanes, Arshavin and Adebayor. Glad we chose to man up and do the right thing.

Fiscally, the deal makes perfect sense for AC Milan, and for us. They will get his transfer fee back in shirt sales in about 10 seconds. Right now, number 10 is being worn by Clarence Seedorf. Hmmm. Wonder how those negotiations are going? Seedorf, back when this started, was on the record as saying that R10 wouldn’t be at AC Milan, since he was S10. Stay tuned for that one.

Now, this gives AC Milan an attacking force of Kaka, whose life should become easier if Ronaldinho wants to play. Inzaghi will get new life, and Pato is going to go hog wild. If he actually shows up ready and interested, AC Milan will be the favorites for the title, particularly now that they have dumped Ronaldo and his dead weight.

So what the heck happened?

This saga began, really, with introduction of a sterner, more controlled locker room. No partying, no gallivanting, etc. The players weren’t into it, Rijkaard didn’t seem to be into it, saying in effect, with a wink and a nod, that boys will be boys.

Then came the “black sheep” allegations from Edmilson, saying “Within our group of players and coaches, we have formed a family. And many times in a family there are black sheep.”

It was clear to all that Ronaldinho was the sheep in question, and it seemed that from there, things went swiftly downhill. He was injured. No, he wasn’t, he was just benched. He’ll play. No, he won’t. He wants to play, but Rijkaard won’t let me. And on and on. Rijkaard’s loose locker room seemed to bite him in the butt at the wrong time, and Ronaldinho just wasn’t the same.

So an era has ended.

FIFA Player of the Year most recently in 2004 AND 2005, accolades and joy galore.

There is so much to remember him by. Most recently, the brilliant bicycle kick goal against Atletico Madrid that made the top of ESPN’s “Plays of the Week,” the rarest of the rare occurrences for football. And it took a play by the rarest of rare players to make that cut.

The free kick that went under the Werder Bremen wall.

The shimmy goal against Chelsea.

How he turned the Evil Empire on its ear and recieved a standing ovation at the Bernabeu in a 3-0 thrashing that we delivered to them at their home.

He has been great for us. Two league titles, two Copa titles, one Champions League title, and play after play after play that featured brilliance and the sheer joy of playing the game. The smile was omnipresent, a childlike glee at things that he seemed to be just discovering that he could do.

If that Ronaldinho were still here, I would be lamenting this transfer. But as it is, I am happy to have it happen, for us and for him. He wasn’t happy with us, as we weren’t happy with him. The price that we got for him, while far below the 32 million offered by Manchester City, was in accordance with the player’s wishes. It was an act of class and style, as befits the service that he brought to us.

Simply put, as an icon, he is irreplacable. At his best, he was far and away the best player on the planet, able to beat three defenders or somehow tie the ball to his foot, ready to hit an in-stride teammate with a perfect pass.

But that Ronaldinho is, for us, long gone.

So farewell, you Wascally Bwazilian. I wish you well until AC Milan faces us in Champions League, then know that Yaya is going to put the boot in, and leave it in until Puyol comes to finish you off. And I am going to laugh.

Riiiing! Time for a new beginning, sort of. Pre-season opus.
Pre-season begins tomorrow, with as many unanswered questions as there are stars in the sky. No, I don’t have any answers, but I do have a boatload of speculation, which can be just as much, if not more fun. Here’s who is scheduled to appear with the squad, and when: Monday: Valdes, Henry, Yaya, Marquez, Jorquera, Oleguer, [...]

Pre-season begins tomorrow, with as many unanswered questions as there are stars in the sky. No, I don’t have any answers, but I do have a boatload of speculation, which can be just as much, if not more fun.

Here’s who is scheduled to appear with the squad, and when:

Monday: Valdes, Henry, Yaya, Marquez, Jorquera, Oleguer, Sylvinho, Krkic, Ronaldinho, Gudjohnsen, Pinto, Crosas, Abidal, Pique, Caceres

Tuesday: Messi

Saturday: Keita, Alves, Eto’o

July 23: Xavi, Iniesta, Puyol

Two-a-day sessions are scheduled at the Miniestadi, which will become the first team’s practice home, because Guardiola likes it so much, and is used to it. And these days, what Pep wants, Pep gets.

Now, what we don’t know is who will actually show up. The big rumor is that Ronaldinho is going to Article 17 our asses, and buy out his contract. He won’t show up for training, and someone from Milan is actually in Barcelona to facilitate the process and put the ultimate smack down. We still get paid, Milan saves the money, then they can use it to finalize that cut-rate Adebayor deal and conclude what would be a great summer for them, at our expense.

The excuse Ronaldinho will use will be the club’s refusal to allow him to play for his country in the Olympics. Stay tuned.

The players listed above are who we’ll be beginning the pre-season with. On the block, however, are Crosas, Gudjohnsen, Ronaldinho, Eto’o and Oleguer. We would LOVE to find homes for all of them either while on the tour, or before the summer transfer window closes.

Note that one name is absent from the above list: Aleksandr Hleb. We’ve signed him, we think. Arsenal says no, we haven’t because we’ve offered 15 million, and they want 18 million. Whatever. Look for that deal to be finalized and announced next week at the absolute latest. Hleb will then join the team wherever they are.

More unanswered questions include: Eto’o? Whither thou goest, cranky Cameroonian? We’re playing a dangerous game with him. If we are going to sell him, we have to sell him thisfreakingyearrightnow! Augggggh! Does anyone want to contemplate losing Eto’o for peanuts next season, or free transfer the following season? Repeat after me: “No, uncle Kxevin.”

What about Ronaldinho if the Milan rumors aren’t true? Does he start the season with us, get in shape, play his way back into the side then we deal him in January? That’s more likely, frankly, than the Article 17 business. Then again, if the relationship is that damaged, he wants out and we want him out. So open that checkbook, R10.

Can we find a home for our we-want-outs, Crosas, Gudjohnsen and Oleguer? Rumors have swirled, nobody concrete has bitten. Guardiola says that Crosas is a first-teamer until he is sold. And we’ll probably put him out there in pre-season so that he can show off and we can get some money for him.

The ugly spectre looming over all of this is the unsettled board. Even if we believe the Cruyff in as sporting director rumors (then he can stop trying to run the team from his newspaper column, and put his ass on the line), it’s still gutted. Can it do what it needs to do in the transfer market? And what about that big, strong “9″ that Guardiola is so craving to make his happy world complete?

Well, how about this:

Sport (yes, the ever-reliable Sport) is reporting that we are going to offer Arsenal Eto’o plus 10 million for Adebayor, for our final offer. This gives us our man, and gives Arsenal a replacement. Problem solved, right?

Now before the screaming begins, this is probably what the board is thinking:

1. Man, we want Eto’o gone.
2. If we’re going to sell, it has to be this year. Next year, he’s cut-rate because it’s that or free transfer.
3. Adebayor is younger, bigger and stronger. His up side is unrealized. We know what Eto’o can do, which is….
4. NOT score against Premiership sides. If Adebayor gets us past those hurdles, the risky move is worth it.
5. Can Eto’o recover from his injuries, or is he really the player who can’t outrun Rio Ferdinand now?

He’s been on the market for months, with no takers. We valued him at 40 million, knowing that we’d deal at 30 million. Not a peep. Rumors, but nothing serious. I don’t know what other teams know that we don’t, but there’s something going on that is simpler and deeper that “They’ve said they don’t want him, so wait for them to come to us.” I’d love to know what it is.

We have six friendlies scheduled: July 24 v Hibernian, July 26 v Dundee United, July 30 v Fiorentina, Aug. 3 v Chivas (in Chicago, I’ll be there along with a few other folks), Aug. 6 against the New York Red Bulls and Aug. 16 for the Gamper match v Boca Juniors.

Also, there are two Champions League qualifiers scheduled: 12 or 13 and 26 or 27 August. A reminder: Those qualifying rounds are knockout. For us to not qualify would be catastrophic. Laporta would be run out of town on a rail, and Guardiola would become a wanted man.

Questions still to come: What will be the ultimate squad composition? What B-teamers will be moved up? What will the starting XI be?

Stay tuned for this and more, on “As the Barca Turns.”

Vacation Time!
Hey folks, this is just a brief note to tell you that I, Isaiah, am going on vacation for 3 weeks. I’ll be doing the European backpack tour, so I’ll probably be completely out of contact during that time. It’s up to Kevin to hold down the fort in terms of telling you what’s going [...]

Hey folks, this is just a brief note to tell you that I, Isaiah, am going on vacation for 3 weeks. I’ll be doing the European backpack tour, so I’ll probably be completely out of contact during that time. It’s up to Kevin to hold down the fort in terms of telling you what’s going on.

I’ll be back the week of July 21, in case you’d like to keep a running countdown to my return.

As they say in the Czech Republic, “Kde domov m?j?…mezi ?echy domov m?j!”

It’s now official, so welcome, Gerard Pique!
“I am proud and happy to say I am a Barca player, and I would like to retire here.” Strong words from Pique on his homecoming day. Yes, we signed him from Manchester United, where he had something of a difficult time getting a consistent first-team place. But that doesn’t mean that the homecoming for the [...]

“I am proud and happy to say I am a Barca player, and I would like to retire here.”

Strong words from Pique on his homecoming day. Yes, we signed him from Manchester United, where he had something of a difficult time getting a consistent first-team place. But that doesn’t mean that the homecoming for the defender, who was signed away when he was 17 years old from our youth ranks, isn’t any less sweet.

And now, the stats. He’s just 21 years old and can play center or right back (for those wondering about the Alves stand-in). He’s 6-foot-4 inches tall, and is known for his good head. The fiscal deal isn’t really all that well-known, but as has been reported earlier, it’s probably something around the bargain price of 5 million.

He gives us size, he gives us pace, and on set pieces he’s a real threat with his height and size. This is no Crouch. Pique has some meat on his bones, and gives us much-needed defensive depth. It goes without saying that he can defend with his head as well, and you’d need to be one hell of a leaper to outdo him.

Are we as excited about this signing as the others? Not quite, because I don’t figure Pique to have a regular spot in the starting XI. But as well all saw, depth was a huge problem for us last season. As back line players got tired, the folks that were brought in weren’t quite up to snuff. Thuram worked hard and knows a lot, but he isn’t anything vaguely approximating the man he once was. So there was lots of flailing. As the season wears on, easy controls of counterattacks become just a step behind the attacker, which leads to goals. Depth is critical, and Pique is part of that program.

He’s Catalan, so he understands what it means to wear the shirt.

Pique continued, “My desire to play for this club is unlike that I have for any other.”

I have no doubt that he’ll show it. Man U sold him at a good time for his development. He’s going to become one hell of a defender, and like all good young’uns coming up in Catalunya, he bleeds blaugrana.

So let’s give it up for the newest member of the side, and wish him well.

P.S. Yes, I know what his last name is, and I don’t care that it isn’t all that uncommon in CataLand. I just can’t bring myself to type it sometimes.

Seydou Keita: Official Presentation
Seydou Keita was officially presented to the press today. The FCB official has all the pics, of course. While he doesn’t have a number yet, neither his international number (12) nor his old Sevilla number (21) are currently in use at Barça. Maybe he likes a different one, though… Regardless, welcome to the club, Keita! May [...]

Seydou Keita was officially presented to the press today. The FCB official has all the pics, of course. While he doesn’t have a number yet, neither his international number (12) nor his old Sevilla number (21) are currently in use at Barça. Maybe he likes a different one, though…

Regardless, welcome to the club, Keita! May your stay be wonderful and full of more goals against Real Madrid!

Martín Cáceres: blauguayan
A big welcome to Martín Cáceres, unveiled today, who has too many accents in his name for easy typing on an American keyboard. But he sure is Uruguayan and he sure is a defender, which is nice to see. Central D was our big failing last year, in my estimation, because of the lack of [...]

A big welcome to Martín Cáceres, unveiled today, who has too many accents in his name for easy typing on an American keyboard. But he sure is Uruguayan and he sure is a defender, which is nice to see. Central D was our big failing last year, in my estimation, because of the lack of depth; this year he’ll be standing in (or replacing outright) Gabi Milito, who is going to be injured until sometime around when the cows come home. Which is, unfortunately for the beef eaters out there, not until March or so.

The vital stats for Cáceres: 6′0″, age 21. Born in Montevideo, plays for the Uruguay national team, and has Sergio Ramos hair. For my money he looks like Javier Bardem’s younger, more athletic, less ruthless brother. And yeah, I’m acting as if the only movie Bardem has been in was No Country for Old Men cause I’m a jackass American.*

I expect big things from Cáceres, but I don’t expect him to start automatically unless he somehow has a great report with Puyol. I do expect Márquez to start alongside Puyol at first, but Guardiola may take advantage of his grace period and really just experiment with the lineup a little, including putting Cáceres in the starting 11 from the get-go. We’ll have to wait and see.

And I still very much dislike the new home jersey.

*For the record, I really liked Mar Adentro and I was so-so on Carne trémula, but I haven’t seen Before Night Falls, Love in the Time of Cholera, or actually anything else Bardem’s been in. And I didn’t even like No Country all that much, but only because I got bored by the end.

Seydou Keita: Official Presentation
Seydou Keita was officially presented to the press today. The FCB official has all the pics, of course. While he doesn’t have a number yet, neither his international number (12) nor his old Sevilla number (21) are currently in use at Barça. Maybe he likes a different one, though… Regardless, welcome to the club, Keita! May [...]

Seydou Keita was officially presented to the press today. The FCB official has all the pics, of course. While he doesn’t have a number yet, neither his international number (12) nor his old Sevilla number (21) are currently in use at Barça. Maybe he likes a different one, though…

Regardless, welcome to the club, Keita! May your stay be wonderful and full of more goals against Real Madrid!

A big day in Barca history….a.k.a. “Votar no!”
As in, vote no against the “no confidence” vote. This is, for many Barca fans, a big day in the club’s history. Bigger than any player signing, bigger than any match win or loss. Sunday, July 6 is the day that a vote that was forced by soci Oriol Giralt has, along with 5,882 other [...]

As in, vote no against the “no confidence” vote.

This is, for many Barca fans, a big day in the club’s history. Bigger than any player signing, bigger than any match win or loss. Sunday, July 6 is the day that a vote that was forced by soci Oriol Giralt
has, along with 5,882 other socis, angled for a no confidence vote against current Barcelona board president Joan Laporta and his mates. (There are now more than 9,000 signatures on the petition.)

So, what’s at stake here? Essentially, control and direction of the club for the foreseeable future. Here are the facts. My rant will follow after that.

After two silver-less seasons, Giralt began to circulate a petition that garnered the necessary number of signatures to force the vote. If 65 percent of voting socis vote for the Giralt petition, the board is dissolved and elections will be held within three months, for a new president and board.

The in-person vote will take place at the Camp Nou on Sunday, July 6.

Now for speculation.

Sandro Rosell,

who has a past with Laporta, is rumored to be the leading candidate to replace Laporta. He’s essentially running on a “I’ll bring Kun Aguero to the Nou Camp” platform. Rosell denies that he has anything to do with this petition drive, but has of late criticized everything from player sales and transfers, to what Laporta had for breakfast and the color of his socks.

Laporta is saying that a no confidence vote could paralyze the board and the team at a critical time, in effect freezing all player activity and allowing for nothing but the basic, day-to-day operations of the club. Here is the relevant passage:

“The interim committee exercises the functions of government, administration and representation that belong to the board, but limited to the acts that are necessary and inevitable for the normal functioning of the club and the protection of its interests.”

Now, that bold-faced bit is where the lawyers are going to get involved. Laporta, quite naturally, suggests that passage does NOT allow for transfers or completions of ongoing negotiations. Giralt says that Laporta is a liar and scare-monger, that transfers at this time of the season are most definitely within the scope of “acts that are necessary and inevitable for the normal functioning of the club.”

You fans of irony should note that Laporta’s history with the club essentially began in 1998, when he forced an unsuccessful confidence vote against then-president Josep Nunez. Laporta then successfully stood for election in 2003, running on a “bring Beckham to the Nou Camp” platform.

Well, he couldn’t get Beckham, so he settled for this Brazilian named Ronaldinho, and the rest is history. His tenure began with the club trying to rid itself of underperformers, so that it could become the bright, shining entity that it has now become. Barca was big, but many argue that it became world-wide under the aegis of Laporta/Rijkaard/Ronaldinho, playing the kind of football that sold shirts and grabbed attention.

Many also say that with Laporta’s campaign against the Barca ultras, the Boixos Nois, the Nou Camp became a much nicer place to watch a match. No violence, no stress, just a tourist and soci-friendly little hamlet. Debt isn’t as crushing as it once was, either.

During Laporta’s tenure, the club grabbed a Champions League crown and two league trophies, ending six trophy-less years before Laporta. Hot on the heels of the side’s European crown, no other candidate even ran against Laporta in September of 2006, so he won another four-year term.

Now, it hasn’t been six years, but does any of that above sound familiar? Players out, coach out, new system in after two trophy-less years.

(Rant time….)

Giralt claims to have the best interests of the club at heart with his destructive foray, but he doesn’t. He claims not to want anything save the success of the club, should his efforts result in the dismantling of Laporta and the current board. Horseshit.

We have been silver-less for two seasons now, and have decided to reload the cannon, so to speak. There’s a new coach, a slew of new signings, and under or non-performers are being jettisoned. To unsettle all of that now is extremely dangerous. If Laporta were any other president, it wouldn’t be as bad. But he is almost as big a symbol of the club as any of the players. This helps on the public relations side, but it also helps with the transfer negotiations. Many believe that he was the one able to prise Alves from Sevilla, thanks to a relationship with Del Nido.

Dunno. What I do know is this: You can’t screw with a program before it is complete, which is, in effect, what Giralt and his cohorts are wanting. They say that everything will run as before, that nothing will be upset, that operations will continue as before. All they want is new folks running things, because Laporta and his board suck. Oh, and we’re keeping Eto’o and Ronaldinho, while adding Aguero, never mind that he isn’t for sale, and has a 40 million Euro release clause. We will most likely be as successful getting El Kun as Laporta was getting David Beckham.

Were I able to be in Barcelona on Sunday, I would be voting not just no, but hell no to this attempt. It’s a destabilizing, misguided power grab.

Barça’s New Jerseys
You can check out the new FCB kits here on the official site. Let’s hear what you have to say about them in the comments. Here are all three together: Update: And thanks to faithful reader JC for this newest link to the players in the new kits.

You can check out the new FCB kits here on the official site. Let’s hear what you have to say about them in the comments. Here are all three together:

Update: And thanks to faithful reader JC for this newest link to the players in the new kits.

Vacation Time!
Hey folks, this is just a brief note to tell you that I, Isaiah, am going on vacation for 3 weeks. I’ll be doing the European backpack tour, so I’ll probably be completely out of contact during that time. It’s up to Kevin to hold down the fort in terms of telling you what’s going [...]

Hey folks, this is just a brief note to tell you that I, Isaiah, am going on vacation for 3 weeks. I’ll be doing the European backpack tour, so I’ll probably be completely out of contact during that time. It’s up to Kevin to hold down the fort in terms of telling you what’s going on.

I’ll be back the week of July 21, in case you’d like to keep a running countdown to my return.

As they say in the Czech Republic, “Kde domov m?j?…mezi ?echy domov m?j!”

It’s official: Dani Alves is in the house
Yessss! Cue my Darth Vader voice as I am saying, “The plans are almost complete.” Daniel Alves da Silva is official, and this shot is for the ladies in the house. I believe Alves is saying “I know that Yaya’s bicep is bigger. It’s supposed to be.” He’s 24 years young, and almost 5-foot-8 inches tall. [...]

Yessss! Cue my Darth Vader voice as I am saying, “The plans are almost complete.” Daniel Alves da Silva is official, and this shot is for the ladies in the house. I believe Alves is saying “I know that Yaya’s bicep is bigger. It’s supposed to be.”

He’s 24 years young, and almost 5-foot-8 inches tall. And he’s our most exciting signing of the summer transfer season. He’s also the most expensive defensive transfer ever. Is he worth it? Time will tell.

Interested fans will recall that some of us were saying that Mr. Henry was the most exciting transfer of last summer, and one Toure Yaya turned out to be in fact the most exciting signing of the summer, in the 20/20 goodness that is hindsight.

Be that as it may, I repeat:

This is the most exciting signing of the summer season. Davi Alves is considered by most to be the best right back in the world. He is a terrier on the pitch, who seems to take losing possession of the ball personally, as does our very own Leo Messi. The road was long, which began with our offer of a lot of money, and Sevilla’s own Skeletor saying “For 25 million, I will send them Alves’ boots, so that a junior player can wear them.”

And so it went. We don’t have exact numbers, but figure he’s a 30 million Euro man, by the time the incentives, etc are finished.

A quote from the very geeked Mr. Alves: “I am hungry to start playing and the sooner the better so I can show they did not make a mistake with me.”

I like to hear that. It’s hunger, the same kind of hunger that makes him the fittest player on the Brazilian national side, the same kind of hunger that made him a thorn in the side of every Liga team for season after season.

I’m not big on stats, so I won’t bother with them, because he’s starting from ground zero with us. But the question is demanded: Why did we sign him?

Well, we had a pretty good right back, Gianluca Zambrotta. But he wanted to go home and frankly, he would have been sent home anyhow after this signing. Alves is faster, better with the ball, a better shooter and an exceptional crosser of the ball. He’s also one of the world’s best free kick takers, not quite up there with the soon-to-be-gone Gordinho. It is a significant upgrade for the position, and more importantly makes us verge on unplayable.

Last season, Zambrotta was an excellent defender, but not really a threat. This season, Alves can stop an attacker, steal the ball, lead the break, lace in a cross or take the shot himself. The other big part of his game is free kicks, which means the “when in doubt, foul Messi” program is officially at an end. Who’s more dangerous, Messi in the box or Alves over a dead ball, just outside the box?

“I am happy to be living this dream,” says Alves.

So let’s all join in a rousing Blaugrana welcome for Dani Alves.

P.S. Yes, the plan is almost complete, because there’s still that striker complexity.

Welcome, Alex Hleb, a.k.a A Little Taste of Belarus
Welcome, Aleksandr Hleb, another piece of the puzzle that is being put together by Pep Guardiola and the technical staff. His path went through Stuttgart, then Arsenal, where he learned a love for the beautiful game, which should make him fit in very well now that he is wearing the colors. Hleb is 27 years [...]

Welcome, Aleksandr Hleb, another piece of the puzzle that is being put together by Pep Guardiola and the technical staff.

His path went through Stuttgart, then Arsenal, where he learned a love for the beautiful game, which should make him fit in very well now that he is wearing the colors. Hleb is 27 years old, almost 6 feet tall and can play all across the midfield as an attacking mid. His left or right versatility makes him great for adding to our overall team depth.

His strengths are pace, ball possession and dribbling ability. He’s also an excellent passer, and will work very well with Thierry Henry. The two, often along with Emmanuel Adebayor, were formidable at Arsenal, with no real threats coming from anywhere else.

With us, there will be Henry, Messi, Iniesta, that mythical “9,” Xavi, Alves and Keita pushing up, in addition to, at times, Hleb. He will make an excellent addition to our attacking force because the skills that he brings to the table are skills that we were lacking last season. He rarely gives up possession, and can dribble his way out of many a jam. He’s also a one-touch passer, which can be the difference between a striker being offsides and on.

There are, of course, knocks against Hleb by the Arsenal fans, namely that he doesn’t shoot enough. They’re right, in their context. In ours, we are going to have plenty of shooters. Recall that what made Deco so dangerous wasn’t his scoring ability, but his knack for opening up the defense with the right pass, from either in the box or just outside the box. Hleb has that rare ability. Everybody on a side doesn’t need to score goals, let’s not forget.

I am very excited about this signing, and not only for his technical skills.

“I want to win titles, titles are my priority,” said Hleb during his Nou Camp presentation, adding that he was even willing to play in goal if that would help the side.

Hard to argue with a guy like that, who apparently has been on our radar since his Stuttgart days, according to Txiki and the boys. This makes sense, when you look at the style of football that we play.

Guardiola said that Hleb “can play on either of the two wings, or in the middle, and can even play as a false center forward.” Like Iniesta, the adaptability of Hleb is appreciated.

Will he make the starting XI? Good question. I just don’t see it at present, not with the way that Iniesta is playing. But Hleb will give him a very good run for his money. I think that Iniesta has a better eye for goal, but Hleb is the better possession midfielder, and can keep the ball even if fouled. Players such as that are great to have in a side.

So everyone put your hands together, and say hello to our latest acquisition.

It’s now official, so welcome, Gerard Pique!
“I am proud and happy to say I am a Barca player, and I would like to retire here.” Strong words from Pique on his homecoming day. Yes, we signed him from Manchester United, where he had something of a difficult time getting a consistent first-team place. But that doesn’t mean that the homecoming for the [...]

“I am proud and happy to say I am a Barca player, and I would like to retire here.”

Strong words from Pique on his homecoming day. Yes, we signed him from Manchester United, where he had something of a difficult time getting a consistent first-team place. But that doesn’t mean that the homecoming for the defender, who was signed away when he was 17 years old from our youth ranks, isn’t any less sweet.

And now, the stats. He’s just 21 years old and can play center or right back (for those wondering about the Alves stand-in). He’s 6-foot-4 inches tall, and is known for his good head. The fiscal deal isn’t really all that well-known, but as has been reported earlier, it’s probably something around the bargain price of 5 million.

He gives us size, he gives us pace, and on set pieces he’s a real threat with his height and size. This is no Crouch. Pique has some meat on his bones, and gives us much-needed defensive depth. It goes without saying that he can defend with his head as well, and you’d need to be one hell of a leaper to outdo him.

Are we as excited about this signing as the others? Not quite, because I don’t figure Pique to have a regular spot in the starting XI. But as well all saw, depth was a huge problem for us last season. As back line players got tired, the folks that were brought in weren’t quite up to snuff. Thuram worked hard and knows a lot, but he isn’t anything vaguely approximating the man he once was. So there was lots of flailing. As the season wears on, easy controls of counterattacks become just a step behind the attacker, which leads to goals. Depth is critical, and Pique is part of that program.

He’s Catalan, so he understands what it means to wear the shirt.

Pique continued, “My desire to play for this club is unlike that I have for any other.”

I have no doubt that he’ll show it. Man U sold him at a good time for his development. He’s going to become one hell of a defender, and like all good young’uns coming up in Catalunya, he bleeds blaugrana.

So let’s give it up for the newest member of the side, and wish him well.

P.S. Yes, I know what his last name is, and I don’t care that it isn’t all that uncommon in CataLand. I just can’t bring myself to type it sometimes.

It’s now official, so welcome, Gerard Pique!
“I am proud and happy to say I am a Barca player, and I would like to retire here.” Strong words from Pique on his homecoming day. Yes, we signed him from Manchester United, where he had something of a difficult time getting a consistent first-team place. But that doesn’t mean that the homecoming for the [...]

“I am proud and happy to say I am a Barca player, and I would like to retire here.”

Strong words from Pique on his homecoming day. Yes, we signed him from Manchester United, where he had something of a difficult time getting a consistent first-team place. But that doesn’t mean that the homecoming for the defender, who was signed away when he was 17 years old from our youth ranks, isn’t any less sweet.

And now, the stats. He’s just 21 years old and can play center or right back (for those wondering about the Alves stand-in). He’s 6-foot-4 inches tall, and is known for his good head. The fiscal deal isn’t really all that well-known, but as has been reported earlier, it’s probably something around the bargain price of 5 million.

He gives us size, he gives us pace, and on set pieces he’s a real threat with his height and size. This is no Crouch. Pique has some meat on his bones, and gives us much-needed defensive depth. It goes without saying that he can defend with his head as well, and you’d need to be one hell of a leaper to outdo him.

Are we as excited about this signing as the others? Not quite, because I don’t figure Pique to have a regular spot in the starting XI. But as well all saw, depth was a huge problem for us last season. As back line players got tired, the folks that were brought in weren’t quite up to snuff. Thuram worked hard and knows a lot, but he isn’t anything vaguely approximating the man he once was. So there was lots of flailing. As the season wears on, easy controls of counterattacks become just a step behind the attacker, which leads to goals. Depth is critical, and Pique is part of that program.

He’s Catalan, so he understands what it means to wear the shirt.

Pique continued, “My desire to play for this club is unlike that I have for any other.”

I have no doubt that he’ll show it. Man U sold him at a good time for his development. He’s going to become one hell of a defender, and like all good young’uns coming up in Catalunya, he bleeds blaugrana.

So let’s give it up for the newest member of the side, and wish him well.

P.S. Yes, I know what his last name is, and I don’t care that it isn’t all that uncommon in CataLand. I just can’t bring myself to type it sometimes.

Riiiing! Time for a new beginning, sort of. Pre-season opus.
Pre-season begins tomorrow, with as many unanswered questions as there are stars in the sky. No, I don’t have any answers, but I do have a boatload of speculation, which can be just as much, if not more fun. Here’s who is scheduled to appear with the squad, and when: Monday: Valdes, Henry, Yaya, Marquez, Jorquera, Oleguer, [...]

Pre-season begins tomorrow, with as many unanswered questions as there are stars in the sky. No, I don’t have any answers, but I do have a boatload of speculation, which can be just as much, if not more fun.

Here’s who is scheduled to appear with the squad, and when:

Monday: Valdes, Henry, Yaya, Marquez, Jorquera, Oleguer, Sylvinho, Krkic, Ronaldinho, Gudjohnsen, Pinto, Crosas, Abidal, Pique, Caceres

Tuesday: Messi

Saturday: Keita, Alves, Eto’o

July 23: Xavi, Iniesta, Puyol

Two-a-day sessions are scheduled at the Miniestadi, which will become the first team’s practice home, because Guardiola likes it so much, and is used to it. And these days, what Pep wants, Pep gets.

Now, what we don’t know is who will actually show up. The big rumor is that Ronaldinho is going to Article 17 our asses, and buy out his contract. He won’t show up for training, and someone from Milan is actually in Barcelona to facilitate the process and put the ultimate smack down. We still get paid, Milan saves the money, then they can use it to finalize that cut-rate Adebayor deal and conclude what would be a great summer for them, at our expense.

The excuse Ronaldinho will use will be the club’s refusal to allow him to play for his country in the Olympics. Stay tuned.

The players listed above are who we’ll be beginning the pre-season with. On the block, however, are Crosas, Gudjohnsen, Ronaldinho, Eto’o and Oleguer. We would LOVE to find homes for all of them either while on the tour, or before the summer transfer window closes.

Note that one name is absent from the above list: Aleksandr Hleb. We’ve signed him, we think. Arsenal says no, we haven’t because we’ve offered 15 million, and they want 18 million. Whatever. Look for that deal to be finalized and announced next week at the absolute latest. Hleb will then join the team wherever they are.

More unanswered questions include: Eto’o? Whither thou goest, cranky Cameroonian? We’re playing a dangerous game with him. If we are going to sell him, we have to sell him thisfreakingyearrightnow! Augggggh! Does anyone want to contemplate losing Eto’o for peanuts next season, or free transfer the following season? Repeat after me: “No, uncle Kxevin.”

What about Ronaldinho if the Milan rumors aren’t true? Does he start the season with us, get in shape, play his way back into the side then we deal him in January? That’s more likely, frankly, than the Article 17 business. Then again, if the relationship is that damaged, he wants out and we want him out. So open that checkbook, R10.

Can we find a home for our we-want-outs, Crosas, Gudjohnsen and Oleguer? Rumors have swirled, nobody concrete has bitten. Guardiola says that Crosas is a first-teamer until he is sold. And we’ll probably put him out there in pre-season so that he can show off and we can get some money for him.

The ugly spectre looming over all of this is the unsettled board. Even if we believe the Cruyff in as sporting director rumors (then he can stop trying to run the team from his newspaper column, and put his ass on the line), it’s still gutted. Can it do what it needs to do in the transfer market? And what about that big, strong “9″ that Guardiola is so craving to make his happy world complete?

Well, how about this:

Sport (yes, the ever-reliable Sport) is reporting that we are going to offer Arsenal Eto’o plus 10 million for Adebayor, for our final offer. This gives us our man, and gives Arsenal a replacement. Problem solved, right?

Now before the screaming begins, this is probably what the board is thinking:

1. Man, we want Eto’o gone.
2. If we’re going to sell, it has to be this year. Next year, he’s cut-rate because it’s that or free transfer.
3. Adebayor is younger, bigger and stronger. His up side is unrealized. We know what Eto’o can do, which is….
4. NOT score against Premiership sides. If Adebayor gets us past those hurdles, the risky move is worth it.
5. Can Eto’o recover from his injuries, or is he really the player who can’t outrun Rio Ferdinand now?

He’s been on the market for months, with no takers. We valued him at 40 million, knowing that we’d deal at 30 million. Not a peep. Rumors, but nothing serious. I don’t know what other teams know that we don’t, but there’s something going on that is simpler and deeper that “They’ve said they don’t want him, so wait for them to come to us.” I’d love to know what it is.

We have six friendlies scheduled: July 24 v Hibernian, July 26 v Dundee United, July 30 v Fiorentina, Aug. 3 v Chivas (in Chicago, I’ll be there along with a few other folks), Aug. 6 against the New York Red Bulls and Aug. 16 for the Gamper match v Boca Juniors.

Also, there are two Champions League qualifiers scheduled: 12 or 13 and 26 or 27 August. A reminder: Those qualifying rounds are knockout. For us to not qualify would be catastrophic. Laporta would be run out of town on a rail, and Guardiola would become a wanted man.

Questions still to come: What will be the ultimate squad composition? What B-teamers will be moved up? What will the starting XI be?

Stay tuned for this and more, on “As the Barca Turns.”